"The Green Eyed Monster" Chapter Three: A Satirically Sweet Dessert

Category: South Park
Author: NoseBridgePinch
Fan Art: John-Sp150
Rated T for swearing and immature fourth grade humor
Synopsis Wendy gets kicked out of the girl's table for being preachy, she decides to sit with Stan and his friends. Hilarity ensues. 

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Stan was still cursing under his breath as he crossed the empty playground. The sky was gray and the wind had picked up. Another snow storm would surely be on its way before it got dark. But he was already bracing himself for something else.

He quickly looked over the lunchbox for spit or other bodily fluids his creative friends could come up with before he handed it to Wendy.

"Thanks." She said curtly. Stan watched her hold it to her chest and stare out into the mountains. He knew what was coming; he got on a nearby swing, ready for the rant that was sure to follow.

But Wendy remained quiet, not ready to face her boyfriend yet. Stan backed up and started pumping his legs to get the swing going. There was complete silence other than the creaking of the old rusty swing set. Finally he spoke up. "If you want me to kick Kenny's ass for you, I'll do it."

"I can fight my own battles, thank you."

"I know. But I don't think you should kick Kenny's ass. Not that I'll stop you if you're determined to. But I think Kenny would enjoy it, if you know what I mean."

Wendy whirled around. "I'm not going to beat up any more of your friends, okay?"

"Fine." Stan continued to swing higher.

Wendy walked closer to the swing set, her eyes following him. "Stan, why are we together again after being apart for so long?"

"Well growing up with parents who get divorced and back together as often as mine do you get used to it."

"That's not what I meant." She huffily crossed her arms.

"Then what do you mean? Are you trying to break up with me?"

"No! Well, I don't know..."

"Jesus, I never knew Cartman had so much influence over you."

"He doesn't!"

"Well he kept saying you were gonna dump me and now you are!"

"Well I'm not!"

Stan continued to get angrier as he swung higher. "You seemed to like kissing him so much. You didn't even care that we were dating then!"

He waited for an answer but none came. He looked down to see Wendy had sat down on the end of the slide, looking down and playing with the handle of her lunch box. He probably shouldn't have brought that up but after Cartman reminded him of it wouldn't leave his mind.

Finally Wendy stood up and angrily threw her lunch box into the snow.

"Hey, I thought that was important to you, why are you throwing it away?" Stan yelled as he let the swing lose momentum.

"I don't know. Because all my friends turned on me today by pointing out all the irrational things I did due to jealousy. Most had to do with dating you."

Stan dug his feet into the ground to stop the swing completely. "I meant the lunch box. You don't think I forgot the flag debate did you? Or how well you did as Kyle's egg partner when I was doing a terrible job? Or what Kenny tried to pull just now? How do you think I felt?"

As Stan patiently waited for an answer he started to slowly turn around in the swing, making the chain twist around tightly before he leaned back and let himself go.

Wendy watched Stan spin around and considered what he just pointed out. He had been jealous whenever she was around his friends. He hadn't uttered a word about the kiss before today and she never heard about the Kyle thing. In this new second half of their relationship she was getting to know him better. Quite frankly, except for the beginning they hardly spoke in third grade unless it had something to do with Bebe, Cartman or substitute teachers. The last thing she'd try her damndest to never let him know. Everyone else who knew about it used it as a main argument of why she was called a jealous, controlling, possessive, bitch.

Stan at eight was a lot different than Stan at ten. He was bolder, blunter, and more outspoken. Or maybe he had always been that way but she, like most, failed to notice.

Wendy carefully edited her words, not letting it slip about how the other girls had gotten to her. 

"Bebe told me I should try backing down when I'm reminded of something that hurts."

Stan finally stopped spinning on the swing and stood up. "That is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. If anything hurts you or those you care about it should take it as a sign to try harder and refuse to give up. I tell Butters this all the time. I shouldn't have to tell you, I thought already knew that. Why do you think I started liking you in the first place?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Because you stood out from the rest of the stupid girls. I admit I first noticed you were pretty, then that you were smart, but I really liked how outspoken you were about always trying to do the right thing. It was so refreshing for a girl to be like that, but I was terrified to even say two words to you."

Instead of responding Wendy got up from the slide and headed over to her favorite thing to play on, the merry go round. There was a solid steel wheel in the middle for the kids to turn to make it spin. She stared to turn it round and round until she was spinning so fast she had to hold her beret with one hand as her hair whipped around her face.

Stan followed her from the swing and hopped onto the merry go round so he was directly opposite of her. He turned so they were face to face. The old Stan would've been worried to be spinning so nauseatingly fast, especially that close to Wendy, but something much more honest spewed from his mouth. "You realize I started La Resistance in an effort to impress you? But then I had to keep going to deal with other important stuff, to get Kyle to stand up to his mom, to save Terrance and Phillip, to stop the Canadian American war."

"You did all that because you were trying to impress me? I had that much effect on you?" Wendy stopped turning the wheel letting the merry go round slow down.

"Well you helped. In the very beginning you were the first one to come up with a plan with Cartman and the aliens. After that, crazy shit kept happening to my friends and I. La Resistance may have broken up but I was doing stuff like that before and continued after, not only because of you but also because of Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters."

"All my friends are mad at me which is why I tried to sit with you in the first place. Now all your friends are mad at both of us."

"We're guys, Wendy. They'll be over it in less than a day. I think only Kyle will still be sensitive a bit longer. But the next time something crazy happens my group of friends will band together to solve the problem."

"But I'm not a part of that any more. The only time I actually get to do something like you've done I get called out for being a jealous bitch. It keeps me from being accepted by the people who like you. I feel you're holding me back." The merry go round came to a full stop as the two stared at each other.

"Sometimes I think you're holding me back as well. How come no one ever remembers the stuff I've done?" Stan held out his hand and counted on his fingers. "I tricked Cartman into donating a kidney to save Kyle's life. I defrauded both a famous television psychic and a bogus anti drug corporation in the same week. A few months later I became the leader and later exposed a major cult. I saw dolphins and whales slaughtered on my ninth birthday and helped change the whaling views in Japan. I was forever changed after my tenth birthday even if everything else stayed the same. But as soon as I'm near you I'm labeled a bigger pussy than the time I stopped eating meat."

"It seems us being boyfriend and girlfriend is sending the wrong message of who we are as people to the outside world." The truth was out there; Wendy turned around and sat with her legs dangling off the merry go round so she wasn't facing Stan. She didn't want him to see her cry over this.

Stan sighed and got up and sat next to her, hesitating slightly before putting his arm around her shoulders. "But Wendy, if you're so willing to back down in the face of adversary maybe we are better off breaking up. Because the spark that made me like you in the first place would be gone. I would still carry on trying to stand up for what's right, even if you're no longer doing that."

Wendy finally looked at him, trying to blink back the tears. "I will always try to do what's right in such a screwed up world. I don't want to break up with you."

"I don't want to either, but everyone who's known us since third grade sees us as better off apart. It'll only get worse as we get older."

"But this screwed up town needs more people like us to take action when things go wrong. If you refuse to never back down when reminded of something painful I don't want to either. Even if the pain comes from the cold hard truth of how people view us as a couple."

"You have the people who like you and I have the people who like me. Maybe the rival groups will never get along or accept us as a couple. But it seems we're not talking about our friends anymore, but actually about-" Before Stan could finish his sentence Wendy wrapped her arms around his neck as her lips connected with his. Stan was so surprised he fell back into the snow with her on top of him. After a moment of sweet satire they broke apart and she rolled over so they were both laying on their backs in the school yard.

"You don't know how nice it is to finally do that and not get thrown up on." Wendy sniffed as a few tears ran down her cheeks.

Stan propped himself up on one elbow to face her. "So I guess that means we shouldn't break up?"

Wendy shut her eyes and laughed, feeling a bit silly for crying. "No. I'm still happy to be your girlfriend no matter what other people think."

"I've always been happy when things are good between us." Stan gave a small smile as he wiped her tears with his glove. "I guess I shouldn't do that. I can't be too nice to you."

"Yeah, I can't be upset if I think you'll leave me for another girl."

"I won't. Not after probably the best conversation we've ever had."

"Good. I like it when you're nice to me, no one else really is. Hey Stan, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what is it?" Stan said as he got up, brushing the snow off his pants and jacket.

"Can you sit with my friends at lunch tomorrow and repeat that entire speech? About not backing down when something hurts? Anything after that would just be showing off our good qualities." Her small smile broke into a full grin, knowing things would be okay, at least between her and Stan. She couldn't be sure about everyone else.

He smiled back as he held out his hand to help her up. "Yeah, I'll sit with you at the girl's table tomorrow. What's the worst that can happen? It's not like we'll have to deal with Cartman and Kenny again or something."