Friday, July 20, 2012

A Marsh Family Thanksgiving "Prologue: Marvin's Arrival"

Category: South Park
Authors: John-SP150 as Kenny and NoseBridgePinch as Stan (though we overlapped as the story went on)
Fan Art: John-SP150
Rated T for swearing, violence, perversion on Kenny's part and underage drinking on Stan's part.
Synopsis: The Marsh family is having a reunion for the holiday. Stan's realitives are causing him a great deal of worry. In additon to dealing with his parents, sister, grandfather, Uncle Jimbo and Ned, Stan must also deal with his Uncle Dean, Aunt Joanne and cousin Stephanie. Hopefully Kenny can help ease things, right?

The South Park Elementary school bus came to a halt at the first bus stop on the route. The door opened as Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and finally Eric Cartman left the bus, backpacks over their shoulders, "Dude, why is it when we're kids they always teach us about how awesome Christopher Columbus is and how Thanksgiving is about peace with the Indians... and now we're in the fourth grade and suddenly all we did was kill all the Indians and Columbus is like Hitler?"

Cartman stopped, rubbing his chin, thinking, "Gee, I don't really know, Stan, maybe it's because nobody gives up a flying fuck."

"Dude, Cartman, come on, even you have to admit it, adults shouldn't lie to us and then contradict themselves! Remember Vunterslaush?" Stan said, crossing his arms. Cartman and Kyle looked embarrassed, avoiding his look. Kenny let out a laugh.

"Oh, you think you're an expert on how the world works now that you turned ten first? Excuse me Stan but who died and made you leader?" Cartman said accusingly, pointing at Stan. "We could easily stop hanging around you again and I'll just copy my math homework from Kahl now. He's not the one with a C average. Isn't that right Kahl?" Cartman put his hand on Kyle's shoulder, grinning and clearly expecting some back up.

"Don't touch me, fatass." Kyle stepped away from him as he took his report card out of his backpack - they were handed out before Thanksgiving break started. Stan eyed the straight A's across his super best friend's card and pulled out his own to compare. Mostly B's and a few A's- but a big fat C- in Math.

"It's probably higher than what you got anyway, fatass. Let's see yours!" Stan said, glaring.

Cartman pulled out his report card quickly, holding it out for them to see, "See? I'm totally smart you stupid assholes!" A piece of loose-leaf paper with a list of subjects; 'A+' written in glittery red lettering next to each. 'Cartman' was written in red next to the word 'Student', and 'Mr. Gayrisson' next to 'Student'.

"I have like straight A's in all my classes! Math, Science, Social Studies, Language Arts, Art, Gym..."

"Do you really expect us to believe this, Cartman?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, "It's so obviously fake that I feel bad you actually went to the trouble to even try."

"It's a special report card since I did so well. See the glitter? Guys?" Both Stan and Kyle stopped walking and stood in front of Cartman, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, looking like stern parents. "I'm better than Math at than Kinny, it's a known fact all poor people will eventually drop out of school anyway!"

"I was willing to let it go but now I'm genuinely curious what the hell you're trying to cover up. We all know you have straight D's anyway. Open your back pack. Cartman." Kyle stepped behind Cartman, trying to unzip his backpack. Cartman grabbed it and put it behind himself, shielding it with his fat body.

"Why do you two assholes always have to gang up on me? Why not gang up on Kinney? Everyone knows I'm way smarter than that poor piece of crap! If you think you're such a good leader, Stan, you'll make Kinny show his report card."

"I'll show you guys!" Kenny took off his back pack and started opening it, taking out his own report card: 'B' in Social Studies, 'A-' in Language Arts, 'D' in Math, 'C' in Science, 'B+' in Art, 'C+' in Music and an 'A' in Gym. "See? I'm doing fine. It's like all good grades and then Math!"

"Dude, Kenny, how are you not good at Science?" Kyle said in disbelief - he had an A+ there: it was one of his favorite and easiest classes. Kenny raised an eyebrow with a look of incredulousness, but Stan stepped in before anything bad happened,

"Science is all over the place here, Kyle. Biology is cool and all but seriously, Chemistry is impossible. Do you really remember all the things on the periodic table? I think Garrison is harsh with Science class anyway..."

"What'd I tell you guys? I beat Kenny's ass in Math! And look he's got a freakin' C+ in Music! That's a joke! How do you not do well in music class! Hold the stupid recorder and pretend to play! It's easier than Sex Ed!" Cartman laughed, "What a poor piece of shit!"

"I'm not sure what kind of sex ed you're comparing music class to, but believe me I wouldn't being the one blowing in that case." Kenny smirked as he put his report card away.

"Yeah, well-" Cartman began to reply when suddenly there was a huge blast. The kids were blown back in just a second. "The fuck was that?" Each of them got up and looked forward to see a spaceship pointed backwards, thrusters toward them, "Aw, dude, not aliens again! We just dealt with a bunch of aliens two weeks ago! Godammit!"

"Shut up, Cartman, we know this spaceship!" Kyle said, getting up as the seat opened and out walked a short African boy who seemed extremely thin and emaciated, "Starvin' Marvin! It's you!" 
He ran forward and hugged his old friend, and they were soon joined by Stan and Kenny. Cartman rolled his eyes, then reluctantly joined the group hug. "How are things on Marklar?"

"Sweeet." he quoted Cartman, "Marklar sweeet. Marvin learn much more Marklar language." he explained quickly, a few clicks appearing here and there out of habit.

"Kickass, dude!" Kyle grinned, "You can stay at my place, Marvin, but they'll all visit you, right?" he said. Stan and Kenny nodded, but Cartman crossed his arms, "Cartman will, too."

"EH! Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Cartman pointed into the direction of his house, then left them.

"...what a Marklar." Marvin rolled his own eyes.

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